Archive | January, 2017

You Did, It’s Your Fault…

30 Jan

This piece was submitted by a supporter of J2F in the fight against CSA. Let me know what you think…

You Did, It’s Your Fault!

 Written and submitted By Marvin Walters. 

You were suppose to be my protector not a molester, 

You were suppose to be my hero but your heart was at degree zero.

You were suppose to hold my hands and lead the way, 

Instead you touched me places and said that’s how you play. 

I gave you my trust instead you stole my innocence and told me hush,

I told those who I thought care instead they covered my mouth in fear.

My skin is flawlessly beautiful but you left on it many unforgettable scares, 

My life on earth is now a living hell cant wait to be in heaven beyond the stars.

He made me do things that I would never want to do, 

and after he finished he’d say nothing but, I love you.

Mom worked the night shift so we were left in the dark

He played with me in the showers instead of taking me to the park. 

Manipulated into thinking I know not right from wrong,

Overpowered by his stature; my weakness makes him strong.

Loathing at the thought that the time has come to go to bed,

Escaping all the nightmares; forcing them to the back of my head.

Sexually deviant and wicked; he’s completely out of control,

Twisted are his thoughts, as he finally takes my soul.

Evil vicious cycle; spinning round and round and round,

Devastation lasting a life-time; still waiting to be found.

Silence I have learned; haunting memories hiding within,

Trust I give to no one; for all of life is one big sin.

Exiled from a childhood, that helped make me who I am today,

Disgraced by the memories as I watched my childhood fade away.

Embarking On A Journey

25 Jan

Hi, My name is Larissa Rhone and I am a victim that has survived years of Childhood Sexual Abuse (CSA).

I’m embarking on this journey, a journey of speaking, speaking openly and candidly, speaking and revealing my truth, sharing my story in hopes of advocating and shedding some light on a vile and insidious crime that has/have been and still is plaguing our society. This particular crime is so common, it’s considered an epidemic! one that has crossed borders and crept into the homes and lives of almost every family. I decided to get on board, to step up and share my story for several reasons, reasons I will list in an upcoming video. Its sad to say that while my story and my experience maybe unique to me, unfortunately my story, this story happens to be an oh too familiar story, in fact it’s safe to say if not you, it’s most likely the story and experience of someone you know. I say this with a level of certainty because this topic is very common, very taboo, happens so frequently (daily) in fact, yet, it’s the conversation, the topic that no-one wants to talk about!

I am a survivor that knows the long lasting impact being sexually abused as a child has and the effects that carries well on into adulthood and happens to affect to every area, and I do mean every single area of your life!  From the way you think, the way you act, speak, your very perception of people and the society at large. I know firsthand how traumatic the experience and how robbed you feel. I know oh too well the stigma, the anguish, the pain, the secrecy, the shame, the emotional and mental scarring, the torment, the self-loathing, these labels and more are the baggages that remains.

I could go on and I will in upcoming video’s but for now i’ll stop here, but, allow me to say if you have every felt less than, if you’ve ever felt worthless, if your self-esteem is in the dumps, if you’ve ever suffered from insecurities, struggled with acceptance, if you still struggle or agonize over the events of your past and the list goes on… take this journey with me. My journeying to free – Journey2Free where we’ll be talking, sharing stories, having the discussions that needs to be had to insight change, bring about awareness, to affect a changed mindset, and have a shift in our thinking, in addition reassigning the shame and the blame and even more importantly the ultimate, my and your acceptance, release and peace.

Join me as I/we Journey2Free. This space, in this space you are loved, you are supported, you are worth it, it was never and could never be your fault, you matter and I believe you!
Join me as I/we Journey2Free. I Love You – from my heart to yours. God Bless You.

YOU WERE SUPPOSE TO LOVE ME!

15 Jan

YOU WERE SUPPOSE TO LOVE ME

You were suppose to love me – Not abuse me

You were suppose to teach me – Not confuse me

You were suppose to guide, direct, and shield – Not have SEX with me!

You were meant to protect but – You destroyed me mentally.

You told me I was born for a purpose and expected me to understand, but how could I if seemingly I was just a part of your sick, twisted and sinister plan. You said I’m here for a reason, PLEASE explain the reason to me! Was it to suffer from pain and anguish?! That’s what I know, that’s all I’ve seen.

How can you say I’ll be someone great! Why, Why, couldn’t you just let me be?!

Now tell me, what life value can you instill in me, when the man who was suppose to love me, teach me, shelter and protect me won’t let me be?! Life from my perspective now becomes to hell with you, to hell with me?!

YOU WERE SUPPOSE TO LOVE ME!!

Instead you took advantage- you stole my innocence, you took my sense of wonder, you annihilated hope, decimated trust, you blighted the future! YOU VIOLATED ME!

You don’t know where I’m heading and where I’ll end up aint no telling!

You shattered dreams, you broke my heart, you replaced joy with pain and turned something beautiful and pure into utter disdain.

HE WAS SUPPOSE TO LOVE ME – NOT HAVE SEX WITH ME!!

BUT, these were the actions and beliefs of dear old grandad, so what are you saying I shouldn’t be sad?!

You dare not ask me to be happy, I much enjoy being sad, for it was those time that I was happy…

It maybe twisted but I’m glad when I’m sad.

I could pretend but it would be all lies, and don’t you DARE go judging me until you’ve looked through my eyes!

YOU WERE SUPPOSE TO LOVE ME!

The Story Unfolds…

8 Jan

I saw the casket, white with gold trimmings, the interior white, soft and plush, in it laid the body of a beautiful slender dark skinned girl, she seemed at peace but on closer examination her face seemed distressed as if her last days were less than content. The make up used to conceal revealed familiarity. Compelled I drew nearer as if being pulled by a magnetic force forcing me to look, I looked closer, it was ME!
I had died. I had succumbed to the pressures, my heart gave up, the darkness and confusion that surrounded me was too great, I caved. I fought but it was a lonely fight, I fought for others yet I fought for and against myself. I had given it my all but my strength wavered, my courage was strained I had given up. No, this cant be! Not here! Not now! NO! I screamed…
I awoke, it was a dream, a dream that unearthed something within, I vowed, this will/shall not be my end. I will SPEAK, I will SPEAK for others, I will SPEAK for me. Childhood Sexual Abuse MUST END!!! I cannot do this alone but this vicious cycle must be broken! The lives already altered must be restored… Join me as I/We Journey2Free. From my heart to yours. Love Rizzy

Let’s Start Having The Discussions…

1 Jan

The time has come, the work now begins!

It’s been 3 1/2 years and for those of you that have been journeying with and praying with and for me… THANK YOU!!! The road to get here has been a looooong and tedious one. I’m however happy to report (with a sigh of relief) that though the process was rather grueling the court proceedings are finally over!!! (Yup, it’s final, finito, done, its ova!!
It’s safe to say phase 1 has been completed. Phase 2 has just begun!
This very short video serves as a prelude of what’s coming/what’s to come. I tried to chronicle parts of my journey over the past six weeks (Yes, I said six weeks! Ughhhh) it was an emotional and mentally challenging six weeks, there were periods I thought I would have called it quits but God…  There is much to be done, so stay tuned. Let’s see how this unfolds.
I humbly ask that you join me as I/we Journey2Free. From my heart to yours.
Childhood Sexual Abuse and its taboo nature must cease! Let’s reassign the shame from the victims/survivors back to the rightful owners. With Love Rizzy.