A Daughter’s Heart Break… Part 1

5 Apr

I struggle to make sense of it all. Death is inevitable I know. He was 81 years old, had less than perfect health, often incoherent in the afternoons (dementia does that), had a few aches and pain, hunched over from osteoporosis, but, outside of that he was fine, or so I believed. He lived his allotted time according to Psalms 90 vs 10, so why, why does it bother me so?!

It’s been three days since my dad Mr. Horace (Lord L.M.B.) Rhone passed. I know it would have happened eventually, but my heart, my mind, my head, my stomach, is in knots.  Yes, he was a parent, a loved one, my dad, I should be distraught, and yes, it’s only been a few days therefore the pain of his loss is fresh, it’s overwhelming, but there is something more to it.

That knot I have been experiencing since, I now realize is as a result of my wanting to talk to my dad and had decided to do so on my return from my trip. I had it all planned. I  return Friday, went to dress rehearsal that night, woke up Saturday and met my obligations, attending the workshops I was asked and agreed to do, after which, head to New Britain to do the play “You Reap What You Sow” then Sunday, Sunday I would spend the afternoon with dad and my boys…. but,  It didn’t quite workout that way…

Now I’m left with all the questions swirling in my head, the one I most needed the answer to plays over and over in my mind. I’m almost certain daddy would not have had the perfect answer for me but I needed to ask, I needed to hear his response and regardless of what his response would have been, I was mentally prepared to accept  but…

To be continued…

 

 

 

 

 

4 Responses to “A Daughter’s Heart Break… Part 1”

  1. Tessa Kelly April 6, 2017 at 12:46 AM #

    So sorry for your loss Darling. Please know, I’m here for you in good times and bad times. See you soon.

    • Journey2Free April 6, 2017 at 8:39 AM #

      Thank you so much. Believe me I know you are. I’m not certain of much but your sincerity, generosity and genuineness I never question. Love you.

  2. Janice Rhone Armstrong April 6, 2017 at 12:00 PM #

    My dear Larrisa I can just imagine how much you are hurting at this point in your life of everything you been through now losing your Dad on all I can tell you the answers to the questions you will never know because I had questions I wanted to asked my late dad your uncle in person which I never did get to because of his tragic death, until this day it still hurt however do my dear cuz give it all to Jesus and he will see you through because there’s no sorrow or pain that heaven cannot heal hun trust God he is in control

    • Journey2Free April 6, 2017 at 1:13 PM #

      Thank you my dear cuz. Yes it hurts indeed I know I will never get the answers I seek at this point but like everything i just have to accept it and release it all. Thank you so much.

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