A Daughter’s Heart Break… Part 1

I struggle to make sense of it all. Death is inevitable I know. He was 81 years old, had less than perfect health, often incoherent in the afternoons (dementia does that), had a few aches and pain, hunched over from osteoporosis, but, outside of that he was fine, or so I believed. He lived his allotted time according to Psalms 90 vs 10, so why, why does it bother me so?!

It’s been three days since my dad Mr. Horace (Lord L.M.B.) Rhone passed. I know it would have happened eventually, but my heart, my mind, my head, my stomach, is in knots.  Yes, he was a parent, a loved one, my dad, I should be distraught, and yes, it’s only been a few days therefore the pain of his loss is fresh, it’s overwhelming, but there is something more to it.

That knot I have been experiencing since, I now realize is as a result of my wanting to talk to my dad and had decided to do so on my return from my trip. I had it all planned. I  return Friday, went to dress rehearsal that night, woke up Saturday and met my obligations, attending the workshops I was asked and agreed to do, after which, head to New Britain to do the play “You Reap What You Sow” then Sunday, Sunday I would spend the afternoon with dad and my boys…. but,  It didn’t quite workout that way…

Now I’m left with all the questions swirling in my head, the one I most needed the answer to plays over and over in my mind. I’m almost certain daddy would not have had the perfect answer for me but I needed to ask, I needed to hear his response and regardless of what his response would have been, I was mentally prepared to accept  but…

To be continued…

 

 

 

 

 

About Journey2Free

My name is Larissa Rhone. I was sexually abused for years as a child. I decided on going public with my story in hopes of inspiring and empowering others to speak about there ordeals in hopes of helping others. This space serves as a platform, I'm on my way, my Journey to Self-Discovery, Acknowledgement, Acceptance, Personal Growth, and Personal Freedom, ultimately my Growth and Healing. J2F gives an account of sexual abuse, my living with a chronic illness, betrayal, lessons learned, childhood traumas, survival etc... My past, my present, the future me, my shedding the veil of anger and mistrust and anxiously stepping into the Me, God intended for me to be. Join me as I/we Journey2Free! From my heart to yours..

6 Responses

  1. Janice Rhone Armstrong

    My dear Larrisa I can just imagine how much you are hurting at this point in your life of everything you been through now losing your Dad on all I can tell you the answers to the questions you will never know because I had questions I wanted to asked my late dad your uncle in person which I never did get to because of his tragic death, until this day it still hurt however do my dear cuz give it all to Jesus and he will see you through because there’s no sorrow or pain that heaven cannot heal hun trust God he is in control

  2. Una Roberts

    Dearest Larissa. It’s been a long time. I am sorry to hear off uncle passing.
    If you want to get intouch please feel to do so.
    Cuz Una

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