Each time I thought about attending the party it felt as if I was on the verge of a panic attack. An internal tug of war was taking place. I was doing it again. Once again I allowed myself to be conflicted at the expectation and request of a loved one. I still struggled with […]
I lost my innocence to a cousin on a bedroom floor, raped repeatedly for years by my grandmothers husband and was touched inappropriately by an uncle all between the ages of 5 and 16.
Retreat Nights were the hardest. I was preoccupied throughout the days. I kept myself busy (another unhealthy form of coping) I did what I knew best, put on a brave face, smiled, and performed my way through the pain while attending to my obligations. It’s a tough call when your obligations include motivating and inspiring others while […]
Rejection Rejection highlight insecurities, uprooting even that which was believed to be settled. The feeling of rejection to the average human can be horrifying, but for someone that carries with them unhealed wounds, rejection can be devastatingly traumatic, damning to one’s self – esteem and crushing to the soul. My heart had been broken before, […]
“Survivor guilt (also called survivor syndrome or survivor disorder) is a mental condition that occurs when a person believes they have done something wrong by surviving a traumatic event when others did not, often feeling self-guilt.” (Wikipedia) I never gave much thought to its meaning until my therapist mentioned ‘me’ and ‘survivors quilt’ in the […]
DISCLAIMER: Episodes may contain graphic details. ***Please be advised – Maybe triggering to trauma survivors*** If triggered please call your local sexual assault hotline. Journey 2 Free presents – MASKED – a mini-series created for survivors of Child Sexual Abuse to share their stories in hopes of reassigning the shame and reclaim their voices. We […]
Life happened. I was overwhelmed. I was drained. I was tired. I was afraid. I became unsure, questioning my existence, questioning purpose. I questioned cause. After a few hard hitting blows, I retreated. In the space of a few months I experienced tremendous, gut wrenching loss.