Sex was my healing. Molested and Raped by five separate guys on separate occasions. Four different abusers between ages 7 – 9. Raped at 14 because I wouldn’t give in to his advances. I became aggressive, I hated men, I didn’t want to be touched. Listen as our guest shares her story of survival after years of childhood sexual abuse.
The threats are reeling in. The vile and insensitive remarks are endless, the accusations, and assumptions are piling on and the questions are many! I have gone and done the unthinkable, the inexcusable, and the unforgivable. I spoke and am speaking my truth! I promised myself I would refrain from writing angry but recent occurrences cause me to want to vent a little.
I lost my innocence to a cousin on a bedroom floor, raped repeatedly for years by my grandmothers husband and was touched inappropriately by an uncle all between the ages of 5 and 16.
Retreat Nights were the hardest. I was preoccupied throughout the days. I kept myself busy (another unhealthy form of coping) I did what I knew best, put on a brave face, smiled, and performed my way through the pain while attending to my obligations. It’s a tough call when your obligations include motivating and inspiring others while […]
Life happened. I was overwhelmed. I was drained. I was tired. I was afraid. I became unsure, questioning my existence, questioning purpose. I questioned cause. After a few hard hitting blows, I retreated. In the space of a few months I experienced tremendous, gut wrenching loss.
I’ll Be Damned! When you have spent 35 years believing that you’re not good enough, you’re damaged, broken and unlovable, changing that mindset can prove rather challenging. Impatience and frustration sets in, one day I’m up and my mood reflects what I feel inwardly, which is unstoppable, I can do all things and proceed to […]
I was awakened this morning by the younger me, forcibly asking me questions, while screaming Help! Help! HELP ME PLEASE! She asked, what happened to You? What happened to Me? What happened to that bright-eyed, vivacious, precocious child We use to be?! Remember how they told us We had potential? They said WE were the […]
For years I was asked not to speak about being raped by my maternal grandmothers husband for the sake of protecting my grandmother. Her daughters had grown up with this fear that her husband would have killed her had THEY spoken out about him raping THEM. So, when grandma’s husband turned his gaze upon me […]
I was awakened this morning by the younger me, forcibly asking me questions, while screaming Help! Help! HELP ME PLEASE!! She asked, what happened to You?! what happened to Me?! What happened to that bright-eyed, vivacious, precocious child We use to be?! Remember how they told us We had potential? They said WE were the […]