Dear Survivor,
We’ve spent the last few weeks talking about silence, how it protects, imprisons, and sometimes erupts into anger when it finally breaks.
But here’s the truth I had to face after the silence:
Even when I spoke, I didn’t trust myself.
I second-guessed my thoughts, my memories, my decisions.
I doubted my voice.
I questioned whether what I felt was even real.
Because that’s what abuse does, abuse teaches you that your body lies, your instincts betray you, and your voice will only get you hurt.
So while breaking the silence is powerful, it’s not the end. The next step is learning how to trust yourself again. And for some of us who were too young when the abuse began, the truth is, we never had the chance to learn self-trust in the first place.
Why Self-Trust Feels So Hard
When you’ve been told for years:
• “That didn’t happen.”
• “You’re exaggerating.”
• “Stop making things up.”
Or worse, when you were believed but told to keep it a secret, and nothing was done, and everyone carried on as if nothing happened…
…it leaves scars.
Abuse isn’t just what was done to our bodies. It’s what it made us believe about ourselves: that our perception can’t be trusted, that our instincts are flawed, that our very experience of reality is questionable.
This is why self-trust becomes one of the hardest, most hidden parts of the healing journey.
What Self-Trust Looks Like
Self-trust doesn’t mean you’ll never feel fear or doubt again. It means you choose to honor your voice anyway.
It looks like:
• Listening when your gut says “no.”
• Allowing yourself to rest when your body says “enough.”
• Speaking even when your voice shakes.
• Believing your story, even if others never do.
And most importantly, trusting that the God who made you also speaks to and through you, not just around you.
That means recognizing that the same God who created your spirit also created your intuition, your instincts, your ability to discern. When you dismiss your inner knowing, you’re not just doubting yourself, you’re dismissing the voice of the One who lives within you.
Your gut feelings, your sense of unease, your internal alarm system, these aren’t flaws to overcome. They’re gifts to manage well.
Where We’re Going Together
Over the next few weeks in this series, we’ll walk through:
• Why self-trust breaks in the first place.
• How to begin rebuilding trust in your own voice and instincts.
• The difference between fear’s warnings and God’s guidance.
• What self-trust looks like in the body.
• How to trust yourself enough to set boundaries, make decisions, and step into your purpose.
This isn’t about perfection. It’s about permission, the permission to believe that your voice matters, that your instincts aren’t broken, and that your healing is real.
Truth that holds me together
“The one who calls you is faithful, and He will do it.” - 1 Thessalonians 5:24
When you struggle to trust yourself, anchor here: God is faithful, and He can be trusted. And if He lives in you, then you are not as untrustworthy as shame once made you believe.
What I wish someone had asked me
Where have I doubted my own voice, instincts, or choices?
• What would it look like to take one small step of trusting myself this week?
• What’s one way I trusted myself today that I can acknowledge and celebrate?
What I need you to know:
Silence was the first step.
Self-trust is the next.
You are not too broken to trust yourself again.
Your instincts are not your enemy—they are your compass.
And your voice is still holy, even when it trembles.
Welcome to this new chapter, Disruptor. From silence to self-trust, the journey continues. Join me as I/we Journey 2 Free.
From my heart to yours
Larissa.
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