47 and Finally Free: The Year I Stopped Living for Everyone Else

47 and Finally Free: The Year I Stopped Living for Everyone Else

by | Oct 29, 2025 | Childhood Sexual Abuse Recovery, Faith and Healing, Faith-Based Healing, Faith-Based Recovery, Personal Reflections, Reclaiming your voice, Surviving Child Sexual Abuse, Survivor Empowerment, Transformation, Trauma and Recovery, Trauma Recovery

Dear Defiant Disruptor, I wondered if it made sense to make a post this late. The month’s nearly over, the schedule’s full, and I thought, maybe it’s too late. But then I remembered: healing isn’t about perfect timing. It’s about showing up when you can, with what you...
To Go or Not To Go?

To Go or Not To Go?

by | May 3, 2020 | #Acceptance, #Expectations, #Journey2Free, #Release, A birthday celebration, Acceptance, afraid, anger, Apologies, Apology, Attention Seeking Bitch, Awakened, Be The Change, Becoming, Becoming Larissa, Betrayal, Bitch, Break The Silence, Breaking Cycles, Broken, Broken Trust, But God, Challenging, Child abuse, Childhood Sexual Abuse, Childhood Trauma, children, Choices, Conflict, Confusion, Conquer fear, Conquering fear, Contention, Conversations, Courage, Creating Shifts, CSA, Disappointments, Emotions, Encouragement, Family members, fear, Fighter, Freedom, Generational Rape, God, God doesn't understand, Healing, Heartaches, Honesty, I am woman, Inner Conflict, Insecurities, It's Not Your Fault!, Journey, Journey 2 Freedom, Journey to Free, Journey to freedom, Journey2Free, Journeytofree, Life, Life happens, lifetransformation, Liveauthentic, Long post, Lost, love, Memories, Motives, Negativity, Rage, Rape, Reclaim, Reclaim your dignity, Rejection, Scars, Secrets, Self- acceptance, Self-Care, Self-discovery, Self-Esteem, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-expression, Self-Forgiveness, Self-Harm, Self-Hate, Self-healer, Self-love, Self-recovery, Sexual Abuse, Shame, Shatter The Silence, Speak, Speak to Heal, Stand, Stand In Your Truth, Start where you are, Starting Over, Stop child sexual abuse, Strength, Stuck in abuse, Stuck in trauma, support, Surviving Child Sexual Abuse, Surviving healing, Surviving Trauma, Survivor, Take a stand, Take back your power, Taking my power back, Threatened, Threatened Into Submission, threats, Times Up, torment, Trauma, Trauma and Recovery, Unhealed Wounds, Unworthy, updates, We Speak To Heal, What it means to be Larissa, What it means to be me, Women supporting women, Wounds

The plans were underway, no-one bothered to include me or even ask, was it that they knew I wouldn’t be interested in attending, or was it something more sinister? Could it be they didn’t want me there for fear of contention? December 20th, 2016 –...
MASKED. Episode 2

MASKED. Episode 2

by | Apr 19, 2020 | #goals, 60 years old, afraid, anger, Apologies, Apology, Awful smell, Betrayal, Break The Silence, Broken, Broken Trust, But God, Challenging, Child abuse, Childhood Sexual Abuse, Childhood Trauma, children, Christianity, Confusion, Conversations, Courage, CSA, Death, Do it anyway, Ejaculation, Embrace change, Emotions, Empowered Women Empower Women, Empowerment, Encouragement, Enough, Enough is Enough, Every kind of lady, Evolving, Faith, family, Family members, fear, Fighter, Flashbacks, Forgiving Self, Freedom, God doesn't understand, Growth, Healing, Honesty, Hope, I am every kind of girl, I am her, she is me, I am woman, I need Help, I'm every woman, Internal pain, Isolation, It's Not Your Fault!, Journey, Journey 2 Freedom, Journey to Free, Journey to freedom, Journey2Free, Journeytofree, Life, Lost, Masked, Me Too, Memories, Molestation, Molested at 7, My story, my choice, Never Too Old, No More Secrets!, No-one understands, No-one would listen, Nobody hears me, Nobody listens, Overcomer, Overcoming, Overwhelming, Pain, Parenting, Penis, Pimped by her sister, Prayer, Rage, Rape, Reassigning Shame, Reclaim, Reclaim your dignity, Reclaiming your voice, Relationships, Removing the mask, Scars, Secrets, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-expression, Self-healer, Sexual Abuse, Sexual transmitted disease, Shame, Shatter The Silence, Shattered, Shattered Trust, Smile, Speak, Speak to Heal, Speak-Out, Speaking, spiritual entrepreneur, Stand, Stand In Your Truth, Start where you are, Stolen Dignity, Stolen Innocence, Stop child sexual abuse, Strength, Stuck in abuse, Stuck in trauma, Suicide, support, Surviving Child Sexual Abuse, Surviving healing, Surviving Trauma, Survivor, Take back your power, Taking my power back, The Almighty, The smell, theeverygirl, Times Up, torment, Transparency, Trauma, Trauma and Recovery, Traumatized, Triggered, Triggers, Trust-Issues, truth, turmoil, TVJ, Unhealed Wounds, Unmasked, Unworthy, We Speak To Heal, What it means to be Larissa, White stuff, Withdrawal, Women supporting women, Wounds, You Are Not Alone

**TRIGGER WARNING** Discussions of Child Sexual Abuse. Episodes may contain graphic details. THE SMELL STILL LINGERS TILL TODAY! – After contracting a sexually transmitted disease at age seven (7), a sixty (60) year old Childhood Sexual Abuse Survivor FINALLY...
Unapologetic Part 2 (repost)

Unapologetic Part 2 (repost)

by | Apr 16, 2020 | #Acceptance, #Expectations, #Journey2Free, #Release, Accusations, Advocate, anger, Anti-social Personality, Anxiety, Childhood Sexual Abuse, Peace, Self-Respect, Apologies, Apology, Attention Seeking Bitch, Awakened, Becoming, Becoming Larissa, Betrayal, Bitch, Breaking Cycles, Broken, Broken Trust, But God, Challenging, Childhood Sexual Abuse, Childhood Trauma, Choices, Conquer fear, Conquering fear, Conversations, Courage, Create your happy, Creating Shifts, Death, Death Threats, Depression, Dignity Reclaimed, Disappointments, Emotions, Empowered Women Empower Women, Empowerment, Encouragement, Enough, Enough is Enough, Every kind of lady, Evolving, Expect the unexpected, Expectation, Expectations, Faith, Faith Over Fear, faithoverfear, family, Family members, fear, Fighter, Flashbacks, Forgiving Self, Freedom, Generational Rape, God, Growth, guilt, Harlot, Healing, Honesty, Hope, Hopeful, Hopeless, I am every kind of girl, I am her, she is me, I am woman, I choose, I'm every woman, Internal pain, It's Not Your Fault!, Journey, Journey 2 Freedom, Journey to Free, Journey to freedom, Journeytofree, Life, Life happens, lifetransformation, Long post, Man up, Memories, Motives, My life, my way, My story, my choice, Negativity, Never Too Old, No More Secrets!, Overcomer, Overcoming, Pain, Rage, Rape, Reassigning Shame, Reclaim, Reclaim your dignity, Reclaiming your voice, Regenerate, Rejection, Relationships, Resolve, Scars, Secrets, Self- acceptance, Self-Care, Self-discovery, Self-Esteem, Self-expression, Self-Forgiveness, Self-Hate, Self-healer, Self-love, Self-recovery, Sexual Abuse, Shame, Shatter The Silence, She means business, So-called abuse, Soul-searching, Speak, Speak-Out, Speaking, spiritual entrepreneur, Stand, Stand In Your Truth, Start where you are, Starting Over, Startwhereyouare, Strength, support, Surviving Child Sexual Abuse, Surviving healing, Surviving Trauma, Take a stand, Take back your power, Taking my power back, Threatened, Threatened Into Submission, threats, Whore

The threats are reeling in. The vile and insensitive remarks are endless, the accusations, and assumptions are piling on and the questions are many! I have gone and done the unthinkable, the inexcusable, and the unforgivable. I spoke and am speaking my truth! I...
Crushed – Part 2

Crushed – Part 2

by | Apr 5, 2020 | #Acceptance, #Expectations, #goals, #Journey2Free, #Release, anger, Apologies, Apology, Awakened, Becoming, Becoming Larissa, Betrayal, Breaking Cycles, Breakups, Broken, Broken Trust, Challenging, Childhood Sexual Abuse, Childhood Trauma, Choices, Conversations, Courage, Creating Shifts, Disappointments, Emotions, Empowerment, Encouragement, Evolving, Expectations, faithoverfear, family, fear, Fighter, Flashbacks, Forgiveness, Forgiving Self, Freedom, Generational Rape, Growth, guilt, Happiness, Healing, Heartaches, Honesty, Hope, Hopeful, Hopeless, I choose, Insecurities, Internal pain, Isolation, Journey, Life, Life happens, lifetransformation, Liveauthentic, love, Memories, Mind Set Transformation, Mindfulliving, Mommy-duties, Neglect, Overcomer, Overcoming, Overwhelming, Pain, Perseverance, Rage, Reassigning Shame, Regenerate, Rejection, Relationships, Resolve, Scars, Secrets, Self- acceptance, Self-Care, Self-discovery, Self-Esteem, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-expression, Self-Forgiveness, Self-Hate, Self-love, Self-recovery, Sexual Abuse, Shame, Smile, Soul-searching, Speak, Speak-Out, Speaking, spiritual entrepreneur, Stand, Stand In Your Truth, Startwhereyouare, Strength, support, Surviving healing, Survivor, theeverygirl, Transformation, Transparency, Trauma, Triggered, Trust-Issues, truth, Unhealed Wounds, Unworthy, We Speak To Heal, What it means to be Larissa, What it means to be me, Wholeness, Withdrawal, Woman up, Wounds

 Retreat Nights were the hardest. I was preoccupied throughout the days. I kept myself busy (another unhealthy form of coping) I did what I knew best, put on a brave face, smiled, and performed my way through the pain while attending to my obligations. It’s a...

Vertigo & A Mystery.

by | Mar 20, 2020 | #Acceptance, #Expectations, Apologies, Apology, Be The Change, Becoming, But God, Choices, Disappointments, Expect the unexpected, Forgiveness, Forgiving Self, Honesty, I choose, Journey, Life, Life happens, Resolve, Self- acceptance, Self-Care, Self-expression, Self-Forgiveness, Smile, Transparency, truth, updates

VERTIGO The Merriam Webster Dictionary definition of vertigo: –  a sensation of motion in which the individual’s surroundings seems to whirl dizzily. I’m at a point in my life where I’m learning to just (hahahahaha) laugh at life’s...